Wednesday, August 05, 2015

Bartering with the Devil

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer.  This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge.
They set themselves before their computers and begin.  They type furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up the screen.  Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity.  Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.  He asks Satan to show what he has come up with.
Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing!  I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished.  He stutters, "But how?  I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact!  How did he do it?"

God chuckles, "Jesus saves."

Police in Kentucky have decided to employ a novel approach to tackling the scourge of drug dealers — by offering the chance to snitch on their rivals. The police department issued a flyer aimed at getting the attention of local drug dealers and offering the chance to eliminate their pesky competition. The tongue-in-cheek effort was posted to the Franklin County Sheriff’sFacebook page this week with the caption: “Please share!!! We need your help.”

Dentist who killed Cecil the lion was accused of sexual harassment by a former employee at his practice and settled out of court for $127,500 Daily Mail

Suspend Your Decision About the Propriety of Devil-Worship and the Expediency of Conciliating the Devil, or: Born One-Hundred Ninety-Six Years Ago Today Blckdgrd

2,100 migrants try to storm Eurotunnel site in French port Associated Press 

Calais migrant crisis: ‘Too many to count‘ BBC 

The Costs of Accountability American Interest (Resilc). Un, we were on to this as a problem in 2006: Management’s Great Addiction

Are We Being Forced Into a “Second American Civil War”… If So, Who Will Win? SHTFplan

A Desperate Nightly Race as Migrants Rush the Channel Tunnel to England New York Times. Get what this means: conditions are so bad and jobs are so scarce that poor migrants from Africa don’t see any hope in Europe. They transit through it to the UK. 

Black became a Member of Parliament for Paisley and Renfrewshire South in the 2015 general election while still a final year undergraduate student at the University of Glasgow. Although she was reported to be the youngest MP since Christopher Monck, Earl of Torrington, who entered the House of Commons at the age of 13 in 1667, Monck was followed by other teenagers until the Parliamentary Elections Act 1695 established 21 as the minimum age of candidacy.